You had crippled me when you passed so suddenly; it felt like one of my limbs had been wrenched out of my clutches as to how much I had been trying to hold on to you so tight. The pain is still there, and I still get teary-eyed when I glance at your picture hanging on the wall. Even the images that are hanging on the walls of my heart. You are my everything, my soulmate, and I felt robbed of my everything, and that is you. I don't think I would ever be the same without you. You are my mantra, my sutra, the red thread that binds us. I am your alpha, and you are my omega, so I guess my heart is gone with you. You took it from me. I am just a shell of a person that once have you. Now am just living and functioning each day, trying to make a new sense of my life because my will to live and the reason for breathing is no longer here. I will try to move on without you but don't get too comfortable over there; it might be a while until I can join you but make sure that you save that spot
The first time you learn that nothing is what it seems. That all the choices you made are wrong, that it is not what they say it will be, is not like in the movies or the books. Reality bites. Ignore your assumptions. Don't trust anything. What you see, what you hear, what people tell you, what you think you remember, let the experience wash over you. Absorb it like a sponge. Expect nothing. Only then can you be prepared for anything. Your body is not who you are. You shed it like a snake sheds its skin. Leave it forgotten, behind you. When you wake up, the world is not how it was. And neither would you. You had forgotten what it was like before you met him. You want to remember. And maybe make some semblance of what you had left when she was gone. Peace is an illusion. And no matter how tranquil the world seems, peace doesn't last long. Peace is a struggle against our very nature. A skin we stretch over the bone, muscle, and sinew of our innate savery. Losing her was